Amanda Lamb: Mother's Day

As you journey through the seasons of life, Mother’s Day takes on different forms. Unlike a birthday, which you did nothing to deserve, Mother’s Day is supposed to be a celebration of the love that mothers bestow on their children and a return of that love.

It was started by a woman named Anna Jarvis in 1908, and became an American holiday when President Woodrow Wilson signed a bill officially establishing it in 1914. In the years that followed, it became the target of controversy as, like many other holidays, it became an opportunity for commercialization and profit.

For the first part of our lives, Mother’s Day is about celebrating our mothers, but once you become a mother yourself, you are not only celebrating your mother, but your children are celebrating you. Whether it’s handwritten cards, a homemade breakfast, or just a day off, most mothers appreciate anything their children do to honor them. Even a simple social media post.

But this past Mother’s Day, I started thinking about how we were all daughters before we became mothers. Having lost my mother in 2012, not long after Mother’s Day, I remember, thinking that this day would always be tinged with grief for me. And it was for the first few years. No matter how hard my kids tried to cheer me up, somehow, I always circled back to the fact that my mom was no longer with me.

It’s definitely gotten better over the years. Sure, I still think about her. Sometimes, I forget and think: I’ll give mom a call or, “I need to buy mom a card” but then I remember that she’s gone.

Truly, there are many more days in the year that I think about her more than on Mother’s Day. It’s usually moments when I have a big question and I would love her counsel. Or, it’s moments of celebration, especially with my kids, that I want to share with her.

This past Mother’s Day it was quiet. Both my daughters were away. I did get calls, a few cards, and traded lots of texts among my girlfriends. But instead of feeling sad, I thought about how lucky I was to have had the mother that I did. Specifically, I thought about how lucky I am to stand on her shoulders, and the shoulders of so many other mothers of my generation who were told they couldn’t have it all, but yet pursued simultaneous careers and parenting anyway. I’m so proud of what my mom achieved, and I know that my achievements are in large part thanks to the road she and my father paved for me.

So, on this quiet Mother’s Day, 2023, I rejoiced for the mother that I had, and I’m humbled by the privilege of being a mother to two incredibly young women who will hopefully stand on my shoulders.

Amanda is a mom of two and an author of several books including some on motherhood. She is also a WRAL reporter and successful podcaster. She began writing Go Ask Mom columns in January 2010 and took a short break in late 2021. Now, you can find her posts monthly on WRAL Family.