Preparing an anxious child for the end of the school year

Several days a week, I teach middle and high school students. It's demanding, exhausting, and fulfilling, and I love it! When the bell rings, they immediately drag themselves into my class; one can only imagine who will lead in our discussions and the direction of the narrative. I often must ask myself "What tools do I have in my box?" to best support the unpredictable needs that students share.

With less than 30 days of school left on the traditional calendar, students are faced with both celebrations and demands. Classroom parties, performances, end-of-year testing, final projects, report cards and graduations are only a few events before the famous summer break arrives. To some students, summer break means travel, rest, and activities with family and friends; and to others, it could mean isolation, reduced meals, and hypervigilance. These events could lead to signs of anxiety among children, ranging from impulsivity, common in younger students, to panic attacks among secondary students. Parents should remember the following as they approach the exciting and perceivably daunting culmination of the school year.

If your child has a medical diagnosis of anxiety disorder, please consult with your child's doctor at the recognition of non-typical behaviors prior to adjusting medications or implementing techniques. Additionally, if you have access to professional treatment, consider therapy for both you and your child as you navigate the onset of symptoms.

Though the weather is changing and outdoor activities are increasing, please remember school has yet to conclude for students. Proper sleep, nutrition, and consistency with routines remain essential for children. A student's voice is one of the most important avenues to finding solutions for a child. They may not know exactly how to advocate for themselves or articulate their desired outcomes, but they are the best resource to share their lived experiences, perceptions, and feelings.

As an adult, listening is a forgotten and essential first step to supporting a child. As calendars are becoming more congested, take time to talk to your child about the upcoming events they will experience. Remember, they may not feel as you would when approaching the year-end with uncertainty. As the parent, having a clear picture of all events coming up may seem overwhelming at first, but it can provide the opportunity to prepare students one day at a time mentally.

Young children may need help processing narratives from their friends and adults at school. An example is end-of-year testing. Some students will often share that they are scared to take a test because of the importance of the test conveyed by the school and teachers. Eliminating the importance or participation of events may provide different results than you think. Dismissing a child's worries could also have negative effects. Finding relaxation techniques, grounding methods, and coping strategies that work best for your child could provide more long-term support. If you find a favorite technique, share it with your child's teacher or counselor, even if it is not transferable to the classroom.

Secondary education students experience increased peer awareness and concern with peer perception. Some students are battling with being away from their friends for an entire summer or grappling with the consequences of decisions they have made throughout the year. These students may need help finding time to build in breaks with activities they enjoy, interacting with loved ones, and meeting deadlines among the planned extracurricular events. A technique such as “Rewrite Your Story” is appropriate for secondary students to help students adjust their perspective. Additional life coaching questions are a great start to the supportive conversations to help students articulate their needs.

As an adult, it may be helpful to seek the support you are providing for your child. For some children, consistency is vital. Before removing expectations, unless suggested by a professional, be sure your expectations and consequences are clear and known. Finally, do not wait to take action. If your child is demonstrating symptoms of anxiety, even if you perceive it to be their personality trait, take note and speak with a professional as soon as you recognize the patterns. Compare notes with the adults in your child's school to see if they recognize similar symptoms, listen to your child often, and constantly reflect on your actions and behaviors to determine if you are providing the safest environment for your child.

Question

• What do you look forward to most about your summer break?
• Tell me more!

Gale McKoy Wilkins is a wife, mom, grandparent and family life coach. She is the founder of Project Arrow, an evidence-based peer-to-peer and leadership program teaching middle, high school and first-year college students how to deal with trauma and crisis using life coaching. It's the first life coaching organization in the state to receive funding from the Department of Public Instruction and the first to implement life coaching in a school setting.